Christmas Balls

Yes, that's right. I said Christmas balls.
I would like to start this little story by saying that I am REALLY not a perverted person! Just typing the world "balls" without the word "bouncy" in front of it makes me a little red-faced. These perverted things just seem to happen around me - I promise!!

So, the little hygienist told me this story last week. Now, I shall share it with you!

The following story does not depict an actual person or event

The little hygienist would like to introduce you to a new "temporary" dentist who is helping out the LH's practice. His name is Dr. Spruce. Dr. Spruce looks......a lot like ......Burt Reynolds. Seriously. They are like twins. It's scary.The LH would also like you to know that Dr. Spruce is stuck in the 70's - literally. He wears loafters instead of more conventional shoes. His attire consists of a bright orange zip-up scrub top (by the way - this is the FIRST scrub top I have seen that zips in the front). He also wears pleated scrub pants in various colors. These scrubs are literally from the 70's.

Dr. S also has another part of his attire. A sweater. A sweater made of his own hair.
Yes, Dr. S is hairy. A hairy dentist....that sounds like a scary monster in a horrible dream. Yikes!

So, now that you have a mental picture that includes Burt Reynolds in 70's scrubs, you may now add hair sticking out of the scrub top - that is unzipped about a half of an inch.

Go ahead and snicker all you like. I do it too.....

So the LH had a patient that was ready for a check by Dr. S. The patient was a small child in the kindergarten age and was very nervous about her first dental visit - but did great! The LH was so proud and excited that it went so well! Then, there was Dr. S.

Dr. S walked into the room to check little Suzy's teeth:

Dr. S: "Well, hello there!"

(Seeing the denist-from-the-past, little Suzy became quite frightened.)

Little Suzy: "Mom?!" (in her squeeky voice)
Dr. S: "Well, look at your shirt! What's on your shirt?"

(Little suzy had a purple shirt with white circles on it)

Little Suzy: "Um...I don't know."
Dr. S.: Well, those look like Christmas balls to me!

Little Suzy's mother's eyebrow quickly shifted up and she turned her head to the side. The LH put her mask up over her smiling and red face.

Dr. S: "Well, those are some pretty Christmas balls on your shirt."
Little Suzy: "Mom!?"
Dr. S: "Aren't those Christmas balls?"
Little Suzy: "No, they're not. They're NOT Christmas balls!"
Dr. S: "Well, sure they are. They look like Christmas balls to me."
Little Suzy: "They're NOT! Mom?! Tell him they're not Christmas balls!"

This back-and-forth debate about whether her shirt contained Christmas balls or not continued for what seemed like an eternity.

Finally, the LH said "Well, Little Suzy just turned 5 years old last month. Can you tell Dr. Spruce when your birthday was (Little Hygienist and Suzy had just talked about her birthday)

Dr. S: Yes, when is your birthday, Little Suzy?"
Little Suzy, in complete fright and frustration (because she did NOT have Christmas balls on her shirt) was so frazzled that she could not even remember her date of birth!

The poor child! She was so upset that as soon as the LH sat her seat in the upright position, she leapt out of the chair and stood behind her mother.

Poor thing. I guess she's not a fan of Boogie Nights.

Can I get a few extra napkins??

These words will never mean the same thing.

A few weekends ago, I was feeling pretty crafty and remembered that my MIL had wanted some new Christmas napkins. She had jokingly hinted to me one day that since I had a sewing machine, I could make her some as her Christmas gift.

So, being a good little daughter-in-law, I decided I would take her up on that offer to put the Martha Stewart in me to work! I looked up how "easy" it is to make napkins and dialed up my MIL to see what size she wanted.
After getting the specifics on the pattern, type of fabric and size, I remembered that I hadn't asked exactly how many napkins she needed.

Sarah/Martha Stewart: Well, there are two parents, four children and eventually four spouses. So, maybe 12. Yah, that's a good number. 12.

MIL: Well, let's see. Yah, twelve....plus grandma and grandpa, then aunt Jo and uncle Ben, Sam and Abby and their four kids. Then there's aunt Denise and uncle George. Then there's........

(The more names she added to the pile, the quicker I realized this wasn't going to be the "easy" task I once thought)

MIL: So.....26. Yah, that should do it.

Gulp.

So, it's a little more than a week away from Christmas and......I've made ten.
Yep, 1/3 done.
Yikes.

It's Been a Little While.....

Wow, so I guess that was an understatement!
It has been a while, not because I am incredibly busy..... more like incredibly lazy.
So, let's catch you up on the King Duo.

I am still working my normal 4 days a week doing secret operative work for the United States government. :) My cover job, however is still cleaning teeth.

Seth has changed jobs in the last three weeks and it has really impacted our normal routine. Seth was working as an under-appreciated Youth Minister. Never heard of such a thing? I'm sure you've met one before cause they're everywhere! Well, my little man is also working on his master's degree at MSU in Springfield. I am so proud of him. I would have to wait a lot longer in between bachelor's degree and going back for a master's degree.

His job as a youth minister was really taking a toll on his confidence, amount of energy, and his spirit in general. So, after lots of talking and praying, Seth decided to resign as youth minister and work a job that might work a little better with his college schedule. So, now he's working as an I.T for a company that works with HP/Microsoft. He helps people with their computer problems and he truly loves his job. He's always had a love for electronics, so this is great.

The not-so-great-thing is that his job requires him to go through a month of training from 3-11 five days a week. Yuck. That means Sarah doesn't see Seth (except for when she's begging him to turn the bright light out or kissing him on the cheek before she leaves for work) until the weekend. It really stinks. We are used to watching our favorite Monday night line-up on NBC and having more "us time."

Needless to say, I have much more time to myself these days and I am LONELY!! :( Sad, I know but very, very true. We try to talk on this breaks and we have a little notebook that we right in each day so we can communicate in fun ways, but there's nothing like snuggling on the couch watching "My Own Worst Enemy."

Okay, getting a little teary........